We've all heard the birds and bees lecture, right? Even though in real life, there's quite a bit more to the emotional side of things, we know the basics of how to get pregnant-- starting with that one simple, yet time-tested act of intercourse. We know that if we don't use protection in the form of a condom or some other birth control that the sperm of your "partner" can get you pregnant and that's that! Just like that, you're on your way towards having a baby. And, Boom! 9 months later you're kissing tiny feet. Well, yes, this is all true, but there is quite a bit more to the story.
Sex is Not all There is to It
The end point is definitely having a baby. The middle is most certainly your pregnancy. But did you know that having sex is actually not the first act in this long series of events that will lead you to the baby you desire? Actually, preparing your body to conceive needs to happen way before the deed is ever done.
It's easy to think that all it takes is one slip up and then Presto! you're pregnant! Not so for everyone. It seems like such an injustice that so many people who "accidentally" get pregnant when they least expect it, but the ones who are trying for a baby can't make it work. When you've got your heart set on something, it's very difficult when it slips through your grasp. And the worst part about it is that most women have no idea why!
This article can help you learn what to do and not to do, and help my body along so that you can finally achieve the one thing that has evaded you up until this point. You become pregnant! You're nickname might one day be fertile myrtle but until then these tips can help you get where you're trying to go.
One of the first things to learn is that although your mind is primed for the idea of having a baby, have you yet considered what your body needs in order to make that a reality for you?
Sperm want to LIVE!
In the reproduction videos that you see on TV, it's easy to believe that sperm are feisty, stubborn suckers that just never die. That they're out to attack and conquer any egg in it's path. But in reality, in order for sperm to be effective in my vaginal environment (how's that for a catch phrase?) I needed to ensure that it could actually survive, and then THRIVE in that environment!
Now you must be wondering, "How in the world do I make sperm thrive??" Well, first you need to know that sperm lives best when the vaginal pH is somewhere around 7.5. This particular point has been researched and it was subsequently determined that sperm will quickly die out if the pH is not optimized since insemination in the human is pH sensitive (Dale, et. al, Human Reproduction, vol.13, no.4, pp.964-970, 1998). It may sound like just a crazy hypothesis, but the truth is that sperm, just like any living cell, or being, has an ideal environment in which they are most able to function as nature intended. You may be more familiar with the concept being used in the opposite technique. For all intents and purposes, the same concept comes into play, when spermicides are utilized as a form of birth control. So, since becoming a mommy is pretty much dependent on us not killing off the cells that make up half of our babies genetic code, it's a pretty good idea to do what we can to ensure their survival.
How Do I Avoid a Sperm Massacre?
The point of this topic isn't to make you think that your body isn't functioning the way it's supposed to. You're not leading all of the sperm down a one-way ticket to doom. Most women will not need this kind of assistance at all, however it's not uncommon that a woman's bacterial balance (the eternal fight of good over evil) is disrupted or thrown off. This can be set into motion by antibiotics, diet, sexual activity, and hygiene. Once the balance is off, it can affect the normal acidity and alkalinity of her nether region. And since you don't really have a way of knowing what the pH environment of your vaginal fluid is (unless you're a nerd like me and actually has a supply of pH paper in your desk), then you may as well keep this in mind if you aren't having any success getting pregnant.
Let's Get Ready to Rumble!
Alright. Now the sperm has on it's cap and gown and is all suited up. It heads it's way on down the canal only to find that when it arrives at the predetermined site of implantation, the party is over. As in no egg. Nobody there to do the cha cha with. Bummer.
So ultimately this lesson is so that you don't do what I did and completely assume that a woman can get pregnant any time of the month, every month. Don't misunderstand me, however. Women can get pregnant any day of the month, meaning that any day is a day that ovulation could occur, but technically for any given woman, her ovulation day is pretty much hard wired into her reproductive system. This hardwiring typically means that there is very little variation from month to month and that if her prime days for conception are days 11-15 then that's it for every month during the year in which no extenuating circumstances occur (i.e. extreme hormonal changes, etc.).
Your Menstrual Cycle Does Not Exist Just to Punish You
I'm sure most of you have heard the biblical story about Eve's transgression that became the precursor for our misery as women. It's not that I don't believe it, I do actually; it's just that with most things in life, your attitude determines your altitude. So, instead of feeling doomed, I just choose to believe that although there are some pretty crappy things about having to have a monthly period, mostly it's just the body's way of affecting the most amazing changes and outcomes. I mean, if you really wanna put it in perspective, think about it like this. The menstrual cycle is really just God's way of preparing us for labor. Menstrual cramps are totally labor prep. Your uterus is actually contracting. And some women (not me, though. I wish!) purport that their labors are as mild as their hardest contractions! Awesomeness.
And since most women are familiar with their body clocks if for no other reason than because since menstruation began, you've been marking off the days on your calendar until your next one, it makes sense that we learn a little more so that we can get to our happy place of motherhood. And since we've reiterated the basics, now begins the lecture.
Your Cycle is Made of Three Distinct Phases
The follicular phase, ovulation, and the luteal phase.
Think of the follicular phase as the time in which your body is preparing to ovulate again. You will be on your period during the onset of this phase. It is when your body is shedding the lining of the uterus since it was not fertilized during the last cycle. Once the shedding is done, hormones queue the ovaries to prime themselves for yet another release of an egg. At the end of this sequence, an egg is produced resulting in ovulation. This egg is only viable for approximately 24 hours from its release. So now you see why this getting preggo business is tough! For all intents and purposes, 24 hours is your window, ladies. Now, don't be discouraged. Even though the egg only lasts 24 hours, a couple intending to get pregnant can maximize their chances of fertilizing that egg in several ways that I will get back to in just a moment.
The final phase of a menstrual cycle is called the luteal phase which typically lasts anywhere from 10-16 days long with most women averaging at about 14 days. This is the time in which the egg is either fertilized and becomes implanted in the uterus to begin releasing the HcG hormone that will alert your body that it is pregnant. Or, no hormone will be released and the cycle ends with your period beginning. The major thing to know about this phase is that if your phase is too short, it could be one of the reasons that you haven't been successful in getting pregnant.
Easy as pie, right?
Well sure, if you know the time and date of ovulation!
And as I promised, I'll return to the topic of how to get your egg and his sperm to do the tango.
1. Ensure that upon ovulation, the sperm is suited up, ready to go, and waiting at the meeting point.
Or,
2. Ensure that if you do not have the sperm suited up, ready to go, and waiting at the meeting point, that it is most certainly en route with an estimated time of arrival (ETA) before 24 hours post-ovulation.
There are many ways in which a woman can keep an eye out for her peak fertility days in a cycle. In this topic I've included the ones that are most common, and most effective to track. Also, I have utilized the majority of them myself and it always helps to have a friend give you a firsthand account of their experiences!
Basal Body Temperature
One of the ways that you can pinpoint your ovulation date is by tracking something called your basal body temperature, and believe it or not, it's fairly easy to track. And by easy, I don't necessarily mean without effort, but it is very straightforward. According to Wikipedia, the basal body temperature is the lowest temperature attained by the body during rest (usually during sleep). It is generally measured immediately after awakening and before any physical activity has been undertaken, although the temperature measured at that time is somewhat higher than the true basal body temperature. In women, ovulation causes an increase of one-half to one degree Fahrenheit (one-quarter to one-half degree Celsius) in basal body temperature; monitoring of this is one way of estimating the day of ovulation. The tendency of a woman to have lower temperatures before ovulation, and higher temperatures afterwards, is known as a biphasic pattern. And it's the charting of this party that can help you gain control of your own fertility.
Now, again, I am not recommending that you do something that I myself have not tried. I did in fact chart my basal body temperature and from it I was able to learn the exact date of my ovulation. The key to charting your bbt is to ensure that you've taken the measurement before your feet even hit the ground. It is a pill to remember to do it but if you're serious about try to conceive and have yet to succeed then I am sure you'll find this a piece of cake to commit to.
Problems with your chart?
Don't see a clear biphasic pattern? You might want to assess your technique. Are you taking your temperature first thing in the morning? It truly has to be done before you do anything but hit the snooze button. No drink of water sitting on your nightstand. Definitely don't get up to brush your teeth. These temperature changes are so small that any amount of movement, including sitting up on the bed to stretch will skew the results. As you can see from my chart, this method WILL work but you have to be a willing participant in it.
If you do not see a biphasic pattern and you are swearing on your aunt's fat Cheshire that you did the measurement correctly and didn't cheat then it's a strong possibly that you did not ovulate for that cycle. It's not unheard of for a woman to miss ovulating for a month, especially if you can recall a hormone-shifting event that has taken place in the last few months (weaning a baby, coming off the pill, etc.) so may need to give your body some time to adjust and then try again. Or, monitor your body throughout the changes so that you are all the more familiar when your biphasic chart does appear.
If however it's been months and you still don't see the biphasic pattern characteristic of ovulation then it may be time to seek help from a reproductive endocrinologist.
And now, what if your chart is clearly biphasic, but you realize that your LP is too short? This means that you've ovulated, but your body isn't giving the egg enough time to become fertilized and then implant in the uterus. A short luteal phase is detrimental to becoming pregnant because even if you've managed to get the egg and sperm to tango, they still have to settle down in the uterus in order to grow and be nourished. If your body is anticipating this implantation but doesn't give it enough time to do so, then you will come on your period and the lining of your uterus will shed, giving the fertilized egg no place to burrow. In that case, I would recommend that you seek professional assistance to first, officially diagnose that there is a problem, and second, if there is a problem, get the help you need to overcome it.
Also, it's possible from charting that you notice a not as common triphasic pattern. This actually does not indicate a problem at all, and I don't want to get your hopes up but it could be a sign that you are pregnant. Each phase represents a temperature shift and the third shift could be a sign that the fertilized egg has implanted in your uterus. It is not a definitive "positive" however it is reason to run to the drugstore and pee on as many pregnancy sticks as you can find. Even though it might be a waste of money, what else have you got to lose?
Ovulation Kits
Now, you may find that charting your basal body temperature (bbt) is a little too scrupulous and takes the joy out of the whole "let's just see what happens" stance. That's okay, there are other methods you can use and signs that you can watch out for that will clue you in to what your body has been up to lately.
For example, you can always run out and purchase an ovulation kit at the drugstore. I've even seen them at the dollar store and if they are anywhere near as effective as the pregnancy tests at the dollar store, I would stock up on them if I were you! I never did use an ovulation kit, as I preferred to chart so I can't comment on the efficacy or the ease of use of them. I can say that if you are truly opposed to charting then this might be a viable option for you.
Cervical Characteristics
Another way to determine when you might be ovulating is to pay attention to your cervix. Yeah, that thing that no one gives any props to. I mean really, why does the uterus get all the credit!
I'm not sure if you know this, but the cervix changes constantly during a woman's monthly cycle. It is one of the first defenses and offense to prevent and encourage the sperm's journey. When the egg is present, the cervical mucous will enhance the sperms environment. When there is no egg, the mucous will do it's best to dissuade the sperm from traveling.
If you take a look at my chart from fertility friend, you will see that I mapped out what the characteristics of my cervical mucous was (CM means cervical mucous, fertility friend can give you a key as to help decipher it, but I recall that H was high, L was low, C is clear). If you are at or near your ovulation, then your hormones will cause your cervical fluid to resemble egg whites. Basically, this is just to say that you'll see a little bit of goo down there from time to time. Your body is not gross, or doing funny things. This is just a lesser-known secret that you are in or nearing your optimum fertility.
I personally did not have much luck interpreting my cervical mucous. From what I understand, not all cervical fluid looks the same in all individuals. Our bodies vary and what my CM looks like at peak fertility may actually not resemble egg whites at all.
Another way to determine your fertility is to take note of your cervical position and texture.
I'm going to let that one sink in a bit.
So yes, this entails you actually having to use your hands and fingers to feel your cervix to gather these details. The characteristics of a woman nearing ovulation are that her cervix will be soft to the touch, very high up in her body (sometimes unreachable), slightly open at the tip, and very wet.
Only by keeping a log of your typical daily changes can a woman usually differentiate between what is a normal cycle day and when ovulation is looming.
I myself did very well with determining whether my cervix was in a high or low position. As I mentioned, if the cervix is high, you might have some trouble reaching it. If it is low, you won't have a difficult time at all. I never perfected the art of being able to tell the difference between a soft or hard cervix, but I also did not do this test very often. There are a myriad of studies and testimonies as to this sign so I wouldn't count it out based on my opinion alone.
